Preacher Jokes 3 – Pulpit HumorBy
A farmer answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the electric company would like to run a power line through his pasture. The farmer said, "No."
"Legally, that paper says we can," replied the worker.
As he turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the farmer went to his barn and turned his bull into the pasture.
As the bull rumbled toward the workers in the field, the farmer hollered, "Show HIM your paper!"
BETTER KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A STAND
A group of guys took a trip to France and decided to attend Mass in a small town, even though none of them understood French. They managed to stand, kneel and sit when the rest of the congregation did, so it wouldn't be obvious they were tourists. At one point, the priest spoke and the man sitting next to them stood up, so they got up, too. The entire congregation broke into hearty laughter.
After the service they approached the priest, who spoke English, and asked him what had been so funny. The priest said he had announced a birth in the parish and asked the father to stand up.
GIFT OF INTERPRETATION
Mom walks into the kitchen and sees her daughter with the whole box of
animal crackers spread on the counter top.
Mom: "Why did you pour out the whole box?"
Daughter: "The box says, 'Do not eat if the seal is broken. I'm looking for
LEFT HANDED GOD
Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten.
His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked, "Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Bobby said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand."
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