Feb
22

Preacher Jokes 1 – Pulpit Humor

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Preacher Jokes to Release a Little Joy

DON'T SCARE ME!

The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a department store window. 

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared me half to death!" 

The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. 

The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry. Really, it's not your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."

 

DON'T BE LIKE THIS GUY!

A guy tells his psychiatrist, "I always have this weird dream at night. I'm locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won't budge." 

The psychiatrist muses, "Interesting…But tell me what does the sign on the door say?"

The guy replies, "It says 'Pull.'"
 
THAT OLD WINDBAG!

At an evening social for army officers and their wives, the commanding general of the base had been given a special award and proceeded to drone on in a long speech of thanks. A lieutenant mumbled to the woman at his side, "Why they would award him a prize is beyond me. He's nothing but a stupid old windbag." 
The woman turned to him, her jaw set, and said, "Lieutenant, do you know who I am?" 

"No, ma'am." 

"I am the wife of the man you just called 'a stupid old windbag.' " 

"I see," said the young lieutenant, "and do you know who I am?" 

"No, I don't," said the general's wife. 

"Good," said the lieutenant as he disappeared into the crowd.

IT'S TOO LATE!

On Monday the minister's little daughter was very naughty, so her mother told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School picnic on Saturday. 

For the next few days the girl's behaved so nicely the mother changed her mind and said she could go to the picnic after all. Surprisingly, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness. 

"What's the matter?" asked her mother. "I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." 

"It's too late," said the little girl. "I've already prayed for rain!"


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Categories : Humor

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