Christmas Jokes – Some of My Favorites


Well I know that many of you like to sprinkle a little humor and good cheer among your congregations during the Christmas season, so I thought I would share a few of my favorite Christmas jokes with you. Have a good laugh and share them with your folks. I don't have a clue where any of these jokes originated but thanks to the comedians who thought them up. The last one in the list is my personal favorite.


After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Bill thought it would be nice to return home with a Christmas gift for his wife. So he went to the mall to do a little shopping.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.

"That's a bit much," said Bill, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.

"Thats still quite a bit," Bill grunted.

Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.

Bill grew agitated, "What I mean," he said, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

So the clerk handed him a mirror.


As it was coming up to Christmas a young boy is praying upstairs while his mother sits by him and his dad and grandma are downstairs.

He prays "Lord I pray for a train set, a remote control car, and A NEW BICYCLE!!!

"You don't have to shout dear", says the mother "God's not deaf."

"I know" said the little boy, "but Grandma is."


Please accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).


Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”

The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:

“Dear Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!”

“Dear Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes.”

“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes.
The chicken was Dee-licious!”

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Categories : Christmas Messages

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